
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Etiquette rules are not uniform in North America, varying among the very diverse societies which exist in both the United States and Canada. Etiquette rules are not simply a description of “cultural norms” and should not be considered a summary of North American sociological behavior, since the rules do not always match the common behavior followed by people. Unlike in cultures with formal class structures, such as nobility and royalty, western etiquette rules exist to assist behavior between and amongst people, so that rather than guess how one should act, one may know the proper behavior; they are never meant to point out the superiority of one person over another.
Traditional codified western etiquette codes developed during the Victorian era, when etiquette standards were based on social expectations. As North American society has shifted its moral focus away from social uniformity and towards fairness since the 1950s, etiquette standards have also evolved to treat sexes, classes, and races equally.
Canada and the United States share cultural and linguistic heritage originating in Europe, and as such some points of etiquette in Europe apply to both, especially in more formal settings and wherever European culture is strongest.
North American Etiquette Basics
Etiquette is meant to establish appropriate behavior. Though etiquette rules may seem arbitrary at times, these are the situations in which a common set of accepted customs help to eliminate awkwardness. Etiquette is not always meant to make others feel at ease or comfortable. Sometimes the appropriate actions are correct even if they are uncomfortable. Etiquette is in effect during negative situations as well as during positive ones.
Like in most countries, some etiquette points are more relevant than others. While King Edward was highly insulted by minor faux pas such as, for example, using the oyster fork to eat salad, in the U.S. and Canada, table manners pale in comparison to insulting someone's ethnic identity.
The etiquette rules mentioned in this article are often less observed or unfamiliar to some natives than they had been in the past. This does not make these rules incorrect or irrelevant.
Points of traditional etiquette that are ignored by many people can be useful to know, particularly when the person one hopes to impress (or at least not offend) is one who does not ignore that particular point of etiquette.
Perhaps the highest tenet of western etiquette is that it is inappropriate to tell others they are not following proper etiquette, unless 1) they are specifically asking you to tell them whether they are being rude, or 2) the person is under your instruction, such as is the case with a parent, babysitter, teacher, or supervisor.
One should never attempt to preemptively excuse themselves from rudeness. "I don't mean to be rude, but..." is never an appropriate beginning to a conversation. "Pardon me for whispering" does not make the whispering acceptable.
One may use one's unique cultural differences as a reason to be more gracious, not less. For example, saying "Well, most people in my culture don't send thank you notes" is an excuse for convenience, not based on etiquette of either culture--no culture condones being ungrateful.
When in an extreme situation where someone's rudeness is causing an intolerable issue, one should bring it to the attention of the person in charge, such as a facility's management, or police. If a situation occurs in your own home, it is appropriate for the host to speak to the person in question (privately if possible), and if necessary one has the option of asking the offending individual to leave, but not to "tell him off."
Judgments of individuals is of course a personal matter, and it is not incorrect to hold certain beliefs about people. However, these opinions should remain private and should not be shared with others in polite company.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Etiquette_in_Canada_and_the_United_States

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